A message from all my breastfeeding boss bitches in the world,

Can we all please collectively get with the times and normalize breastfeeding already? I’m really getting tired of feeling weird because you feel weird about me feeding my child.

It’s only weird because you’re making it weird.

I’m sorry it makes you feel weird. Actually, I’m not sorry at all. Your creepy AF pornstache makes me feel weird and you don’t see me staring. On the contrary, nursing my child is one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. It’s amazing and special and YOU ARE RUINING IT.

I shouldn’t have to cover her face. Would you like your face covered while you’re trying to eat? I didn’t think so.

The time of being shunned in a bathroom stall or backseat of a car need to officially end already. I’m over it.

Next time we go out to eat, let’s all agree to not give a fuck if a mother whips out the nip to soothe a hangry baby. It’s for the good of everyone. And please don’t seclude her to the bathroom and miss the juicy convo that comes with female brunch dates. It’s bad enough we have to miss out on the bottomless part of bottomless mimosas.

When you see a pornstache staring in the distance, how about we make HIM feel weird. Everyone stare at HIM until HE wants to hide in a bathroom.

And when you see a mother feeding her child, give her a high five or a smile or simply don’t give a fuck. Know that we are supporting life and know it is hard. We’re most likely sleep deprived and in desperate need of a hug and a shower.